DAY 3
I work in film/tv production. One way we get more work is by networking and meeting people. My friend who is a director and writer invited me to this casual film gathering today. He said he understands if I can't go because of what Im going through.
Well when I woke up this morning I said to myself, my dad would go if he were me, lol. My dad was a huge people person. Great at networking. Very charming. Would tell great stories. Wheel and deal.
So to their surprise. I showed up. They greeted me with a hug. So warm. I had a great time. I met people, handed out my business cards, enjoyed good food, and we watched some recently completed films.
To my surprise I wasn't emotional and I wasn't thinking about my dad every second.
ITS ONLY BEEN 3 DAYS. WOW. I am impressed at my strength.
You all don't know me. I am the type who worries often... I have panic attacks over something stupid at a grocery store. I've always had a nervous energy.
And here I am, just 3 days after facing the greatest tragedy of my life, at a gathering, laughing, conversing, SMILING. I amazed myself. I underestimated my strength. I am proud of myself.
And I could feel my dad saw it all and is proud too :)
Well when I woke up this morning I said to myself, my dad would go if he were me, lol. My dad was a huge people person. Great at networking. Very charming. Would tell great stories. Wheel and deal.
So to their surprise. I showed up. They greeted me with a hug. So warm. I had a great time. I met people, handed out my business cards, enjoyed good food, and we watched some recently completed films.
To my surprise I wasn't emotional and I wasn't thinking about my dad every second.
ITS ONLY BEEN 3 DAYS. WOW. I am impressed at my strength.
You all don't know me. I am the type who worries often... I have panic attacks over something stupid at a grocery store. I've always had a nervous energy.
And here I am, just 3 days after facing the greatest tragedy of my life, at a gathering, laughing, conversing, SMILING. I amazed myself. I underestimated my strength. I am proud of myself.
And I could feel my dad saw it all and is proud too :)
Replies
I read your journal i\'m so happy that you enjoyed yourself and your right your dad wanted it this way too. He is watching over you, he\'s giving you strength to move on, don\'t ever doubt that. You said something before that you worried about it all the time, I felt the same way about my mom always worrying and boomm it happened and I\'m still surviving. Let me tell you what happened to me today. I was going out and where my mom sat in our house in her recliner i saw something there it just caught my eye. It was a \'feather\' did you ever hear about \'feathers\' when someone passes. Someone in pogo games told me chil your gonna find feathers and I said oh it\'ll never happen to me, she said when least expected its going to happen and today, I thought of her and what she said to me. I thought at first it was a cotton fuzzy but when i picked it up i saw those veins in it, you know what i mean don\'t you? and then i showed my husband and he said that\'s a \'feather\' and my friend came over and i showed her too and she said that\'s a \'feather\' so maybe because i\'m not crying the OCEAN OF TEARS ANYMORE she was able to get thru to me. tc and keep in touch - it seems llike your healing and moving forward, i\'m so very happy for you. tc x o