DAY 1
11:24am 9/16/11
I spent some of yesterday feeling in shock, then I felt great sadness, then I felt at peace that he was no longer suffering. But whatever the emotions, we know they are short-lived, because you go up and down in the grieving process.
Today I woke up and felt ok. My bf Daniel told me he had a dream that my father wanted to let me know he is ok and thank you for everything. Daniel is very intuitive and often his dreams have happened or come true. I found some comfort in knowing my Dad tried to reach out to me to let me know he is ok. Regardless I miss him soooooooo much already. I love him like no other. I can't explain why. But I hope one day that love allows us to be reunited again. I am hurting so bad right now. I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!!
I spent some of yesterday feeling in shock, then I felt great sadness, then I felt at peace that he was no longer suffering. But whatever the emotions, we know they are short-lived, because you go up and down in the grieving process.
Today I woke up and felt ok. My bf Daniel told me he had a dream that my father wanted to let me know he is ok and thank you for everything. Daniel is very intuitive and often his dreams have happened or come true. I found some comfort in knowing my Dad tried to reach out to me to let me know he is ok. Regardless I miss him soooooooo much already. I love him like no other. I can't explain why. But I hope one day that love allows us to be reunited again. I am hurting so bad right now. I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!!
Replies
Your very lucky to have gotten a message from him that soon! I know when my mom passed my mother in law told me she was communicating to her to tell me she would not leave me until she knew I was ok and that she was worried about me. Thats how my mom was too such a worrier. I know she is worried about my husband right now and I am sure she is by my side trying to comfort me even though it kills me I can\'t talk to her like your father we were very close like best friends. Thanks for sharing.
amazing how these traits carry over isn\'t it? she was a worrier, and still is. wow. well at least you have someone watching over you. they sure have a heck of a lot more power up there than they did down here. i wish you only the best :)
I understand this feeling quite well myself.
It seemed as though I lived my whole life in fear of the death of my mother. When she contracted cancer, I thought my world would end. But, as I saw her suffering and knew there was no way out for her...except death...I realized that there are things worth than death in life.
To me (and I didn\'t feel this way until just a few years ago), I\'ve come to the decision and discernment that God designed death into this whole thing called life. I think it was all a part of it...all along.
I think, as we mature, we\'ll see that death is but a transformation of our lives. The same things that made us were here a long time before we gathered form and function in our mother\'s wombs. And, long after our continuity ceases to exist in this form, our sum and substance will yet remain and we share it with all things that live.
We are hardly an accident...we are someone\'s plan. While I no longer believe in the King James Version of God; I, more than ever, believe in His existence and in His design for us....if He really is a He.
With this, and perhaps my own confusion, I have a greater vote of faith than ever before...because...I\'m letting God be God. As a result, I trust Him.
If I could be born, I can be born again. I don\'t choose to serve a God that would make me just to destroy me. I serve a God of love and certain morality...even on a greater plane than the morality of the Bible.
Please understand, I don\'t throw out the Bible...it\'s beautiful in many of it\'s messages; but many underlying messages are shameful and shaming and guilt inducing...and performance demanding.
I choose the message of love. Your dad trusted himself to that and I\'m sure you do too. How can we go wrong?
When I got the call that mom had died, my wife told me...\"she lived a whole lifetime before you came into her\'s...and she\'s alright with all this...cause she told you so\".
I cried a moment, laid down, and went back to sleep. I realized that the mantle of the love of my life was to pass along to my wife...and that\'s where it\'s been and shall be...and I\'ll feed all my friends the leftovers.
God Bless,Keep, and Comfort you!
i\'m going into this journal entry trying to get a hold of you. have had DS problems for monthssssssssssssss my hotmail was HACKED and they BLOCKED it so you can\'t contact me thru hotmail anymore. as soon as you click on friends it should come into my new sign in name which is still familiar to all chil234