I feel like I'm going round and round in circles, I just need to let the facts fall where they are and hope something becomes clear.
S doesn't talk to me anymore (despite supporting her on numerous occasions in the past 3 months.
T doesn't understand the situation one bit and it now feels like she's crushing me too.
M doesn't talk to me anymore, feel a little bit heartbroken, guess it was all about sex for him.
M&D can function without me and would rather, they've made that obvious.
I have a month left of uni and my project is still mediocre at best.
I've applied for a job which I doubt I'll get, or ever see the opportunity again
P thinks I'm a sure thing, hence why he's interested.
E will fun for the hills when he sees me.
I have no way of getting a stable income so I can't move out again.
Currently:
T is ignoring me, guess that makes it clear how she feels.
S is ignoring me, guess she wasn't the person I thought she was.
M hasn't spoken to me and avoids all prolonged conversation.
M&D are trying to make me feel as uncomfortable as possible so I won't stay despite being the ones that pulled me back in the first place.
My anxiety is so bad I can't go and get my meds, nor can I really afford them either.
Uni gives me no support, well at least support that is so infrequent it would never help.
PP is nowhere near done, nor do I have the energy or concentration to do it.
ESP is going to be a massive failure just like Jim said.
End it, run, disappear. Done of the options is viable without hurting others... But if they ignore me they clearly don't care anyway so does it really matter?
S doesn't talk to me anymore (despite supporting her on numerous occasions in the past 3 months.
T doesn't understand the situation one bit and it now feels like she's crushing me too.
M doesn't talk to me anymore, feel a little bit heartbroken, guess it was all about sex for him.
M&D can function without me and would rather, they've made that obvious.
I have a month left of uni and my project is still mediocre at best.
I've applied for a job which I doubt I'll get, or ever see the opportunity again
P thinks I'm a sure thing, hence why he's interested.
E will fun for the hills when he sees me.
I have no way of getting a stable income so I can't move out again.
Currently:
T is ignoring me, guess that makes it clear how she feels.
S is ignoring me, guess she wasn't the person I thought she was.
M hasn't spoken to me and avoids all prolonged conversation.
M&D are trying to make me feel as uncomfortable as possible so I won't stay despite being the ones that pulled me back in the first place.
My anxiety is so bad I can't go and get my meds, nor can I really afford them either.
Uni gives me no support, well at least support that is so infrequent it would never help.
PP is nowhere near done, nor do I have the energy or concentration to do it.
ESP is going to be a massive failure just like Jim said.
End it, run, disappear. Done of the options is viable without hurting others... But if they ignore me they clearly don't care anyway so does it really matter?
Replies
It does matter hun...YOU matter! Listen, I have been where you are. I know the hopelessness and pain that you are in. Your best friend right now is time as I realize you dont feel this way, but this too shall pass.
I am not sure what all of your abbreviations are but know that I suffer from Treatment Resistant Depression and severe anxiety as well. I also felt that I didnt necessarily WANT to die, but I couldnt live with the pain either. I know how badly you hurt and want you to know that I am hear to talk, vent with, give advice if you want it. Since I have also walked this path I hope that I can be source of comfort and information for you. So please, dont hesitate to ask me anything that you need to. I am here for you, you are not alone.
With love and concern, -Sandy