Today is 11/29/07 I have decided to start the lengthy process of putting in for disability I figured since I have been hospitalized 2 times and tried holding 4 different jobs and suffer from paranoia , skitso, bipolar-mixed episodes maybe they will approve it for me so I can hopefully get my mind in working order enough to work full time job and maybe get back into school.  This bipolar is really a hard illness to deal with.  It's not the mood swings thats hard for me to cope with but rather the paranoia and skitso episodes and thinking that the world is out to get me.  I am praying that I will have enough energy to work out tonight and to read some.  Maybe plan out a action plan for the rest of the week.  I have been being to much of a hermit and just laying around having no motivation.  Maybe with the right mindset I can acomplish these things.  Well I had to write because this is probley some more of the difficult times of the illness that I have been suffering from.