Today is 8/14/07 it is 8:00 P.M.  I am very upset at the moment due to friends who think they can tell me everything to do in my life.  I enjoy who I am and I enjoy living my life to be a human not a fucking robot guided by someone who thinks they are god / for example like a manager or someone that has a lot of money and just because they have a lot of money they think everyone should worship them.  It makes me so sick at my stomach.  I have to vent because of what all is going on in my life.  Sometimes I don't know who to trust but I will always trust in Jesus and Myself.  If it was not for him and my love for my family then I would not be here right now making amends to my family and letting them know how much I love them and how sorry and stupid I was in the "past" to make dumb decisions that did not respect them as who they are.  They deserve respect because they are very respected people. My father does good deeds for people , but he don't even ask for money half the time just because he is that good of a father.  I don't think there could ever be a father as good as him.  Well maybe to those who get spoiled, but I refuse and I always want to work but at this moment in my life my thinking is way to skewed to get a job and he realizes that and wants to work with me in order to get them in the right direction.  I hate thinking this way.  I hate having anger rages out of know where just come out.  I am not a violent person but when things don't go my way, and it's because someone is not telling the truth or hurting me on purpose then I REALLLY get upset.  No matter what the cell phone towers are plunging into my brains no matter what amblified thoughts I have through telecommunications that are able to penitrate what you think and skew your thinking abilities.  That in itself if man slauter on the 1st degree. Well I am very upset and I will try to relax after drinking a glass of relaxing tea and also taking 1 extra Kalanopin.  I am still very upset.  The only thing that could help my life at this moment would be for someone to purchase my damn furnitire and someone purchase my fathers car he is selling and also for someone to please tell me the truth about my heart and what I need to do in order to live as long as I possibley can so I can help my family and let them know that I care for them before I expire.--Nick