2020

This year would start out dismal as others and soon grow far worse. Dave had a bad few days and would reach a point where I simply called 911 to try to help him as he was so weak he could not steadily pull himself up. Til they were done we would beg him to go get checked out but he begged just as hard to stay here. January 30th he would pass away. JUst after that was when covid alerts woulkd begin (if I remember correctly).. 

February would fumble through Valentine's day... but did find hope to look toward that new life.  Easter, as the weather got warmer I decided to be brave and do a dating site. Til all was said and done, nothing really did become of that. 

I would grow close to someone on here and did trust enough to take a risk (BIG move for me). Met him in Colorado (his turf) for a chance for him to show me some of his state. It was incredibly beautiful there. We did help each other through a rough time but too many big hopes and dreams were shared early on. Til all was said and done, he would finally come to realize he deserved to be happy and was very determined (and driven) to get what he wanted (and convince me of the same). I come back to PA. He goes full force toward his goals. He would come across a woman who he has known from similar interests who also has some knowledge and ability to jump in and help him. They would grow very close and now I am a distant thought in the wind.  (with my dysfunctional background, easy for me to take as a hit... also the fact he did point out a few things  -- for my own health and benefit though. I think)

In August would get to see family and give them trinkets I did pick up in Colorado and tell them of my trip. Did bring back a memory of my mom and how she did make our bdays special even though there was not much money. I took a page from her book and did not remnind them of the date but made food for them to share and celebrate my own day with those I love. Was a nice day. 

AS the year plows forward, my BIL did get some work done for me... redid the master bath, replaced both decks... but still not my roof. It seemd that I have had issues ciome up... one right after the other. It is almost like one clears thqat I can finally forget it and something else comes along. I did say I feel like I am being punished .

Thanksgiving I did share with neighbors who  I haven't gotten to spend much time. Now Christmas is postponed because my nephew (39) has tested positive for covid. Thankfully he has no symptoms (yet and hopefully not). We have all spoken today though and that has meant something. especially to hear the little ones sharing what Santa brought them. Sister and I who have grown distant did actually help each other feel better and thankful for what we do have, 

My boss texted me earlier his grandfather died early this morning. He had just brought the his wife home fromhospital yesterday (pneumonia, but not covid) He was not sick (pneumonia or anything) This morning she found him dead on the bathroom floor. My thoughts and prayers are with them. This definitely did put things in perspective for me .

I have come to realize as I have had many reach out to me in many ways ( and I have as well) these little things do mean so much. especially in horrible times like these. So if you are feeling alone, type away or pick up that phone. 

Merry Christmas and best wishes for a better year next year. 

Kim