2018

I have just realized i have the next 3 days off. Happy New Year to me. woo-hoo.  I have info I need to gather, some things I want to sort through, but I am planning on staying in for New Year's Eve.  I always make munchies, we ring in the new Year and watch fireworks all over (our house sits way atop a hill ,we can find some anywhere we turn)

Naturally it is a big time to reflect . I am going to try to look toward the future and what I will be getting back....my sense of self, more confidence, courage, independence. I have things i want to do, fears i need to overcome.

Sadly, what sucks is my being this hopeless romantic.   I cannot express how much I want to have someone special to love and share this all with. (Hubby is still here and, if we are both awake, we will do the usual.....but this is far from what i wish I had.)  I guess being sooo long since I have truly felt loved (or even been touched) makes me crave this so much more.

I know....everyone will remind me I need time to myself.  So, while the better part of the free world is drinking up, celebrating and having hot steamy sex with their loved ones (or their hot date )......If I do get the urge....it is just me and my damn toys.  I am embarassed and feeling like an unwanted freak.  (Technically, i guess that is a bit harsh since at this point I am still tucked safely away from everyone yet....hiding out here at home.)

On the flip side.....being celibate for the past 85 years (not really...just feels like it) has given me a good headstart for the convent.   I do wonder if they would take me????   Or what would they do to me if they did discover my toys?   haha   (I am ony kidding. Please forgive my rather strange sense of humor.)

Here's hoping this year holds btter things for ALL OF US.