2013 update
I tried to fight for my self in 2013. It was the second year after I lost my Ami. I was handicapped with a very high shrill tinnitus. I fought to keep it down. I chased fantom cures. I did what I could to be there for my grand-children. Feeling guilty as i physically was not able to put myself together in a way that did not distress them. In September i had a polyp removed which turned out to have cancer. More anxiety as I grapple with this new reality. The Doctor thinks it is 98% gone so i cling to that news. I have gone to Church and found comfort there as i tried to find answers, justification, realizing there was none of these to be had. I spent 100's of hours on the internet and reading library books on how to go on. I also spent time with 6 members of our grief group. It is an offshoot of a health sponsored course i took in the first six months. They give me what i need when no one else understands. Now i found this group and look forward to it as only a mom who lost a daughter can truly understand.
New Years came 11 days ago and i hope so much for this year to be better.
New Years came 11 days ago and i hope so much for this year to be better.
Replies
Thank you for sharing. I\'m so sorry for the loss of your precious Ami. I\'m sorry to for all the health issues you are dealing with. Grief is hard enough just by itself!
We\'re glad you\'ve found us and I hope you are feeling loved and supported here. May 2014 be a bit easier, a bit better, for each of us.
Much love and tight hugs~~Teri
It feels as if 2014 is and will BE better. You have gone through a lot and are seeking the support that is needed. This is vital on this path and it changes and evolves as we do.
I am so very sorry about your Ami and am hopeful that you continue to heal on all levels. You certainly want this with your whole heart as I can feel it.
Loving care, healing (((hugs))) and grateful for your update as much has happened for you in the past year even if at times it feels as if everything has stood still... It has not...
XO
Joanie
Oh my, i am so grateful for the kindness. After 2 years people in my life do not bring up her name hardly ever. I don\'t know why. They all knew her and loved her. I feel comfort in being able to talk about her and myself. I have her older sister as my only other biological child. She moved 2 doors away from me so we could help each other out and give each other support. That was wonderful. I look forward to being here. Thank you. Rose
I am so glad that you found us...having many different resources available helps...take gentle and you can mention your precious Ami here always!
Karen
Ami is with you everyday and the special gift you have to be with your other daughter will help to sustain you. Honoring Ami will be your goal. Peace, Kathy
Very sorry for your loss. Being a father of 3, I believe outliving my children would be a fate worse than death.
\' .... people in my life do not bring up her name hardly ever.\'
It\'s not that she\'s been forgotten. They may not want to upset you or even be reminded themselves because they lost her too.
People deal with grief in many different ways.
With tinnitus . . . . . I\'m kind of lucky. I understand it and with that in mind I\'m building a website to explain my hypothesis and research it further.
To put it simply, tinnitus don\'t have a cause as such. It is a by-product of many causes. That\'s why medical science is so confused.
In the mean time read \'Relief Without Drugs - by Ainslie Meares\'
I read it when I was 19. It is an ordinary person\'s guide to meditation. Meditation without the \'floating on a cloud\' routine.
Now, even with tinnitus, I \'blank\' out and get to sleep within minutes.