LOVED this by whatsnew2day titled "How to stop a fight in one sentence":
"When your partner is in an uproar, ask him/her this question? It will change the whole dynamic of arguing. "What are you getting that you're not wanting?" Then after a period of time, ask "What are you wanting that you're not getting?" Turn it around and ask each question of yourself. Then begin to meet each other's need if that need is healthy-relationship-reasonable."
I am SO going to use this in the future. I may have to make a cheat card and hand it to the Huz, because this is EXACTLY what I need to hear from him and exactly the thoughtfulness/mindfulness I need to have when going into a situation of conflict. It's hard for me to ask what I want when I KNOW what I want, but a lot of times we argue because one or the other (or both!) haven't even stopped to figure out what we do/don't want/need.
OK, I've cluttered up your inboxes enough for one day. :)
"When your partner is in an uproar, ask him/her this question? It will change the whole dynamic of arguing. "What are you getting that you're not wanting?" Then after a period of time, ask "What are you wanting that you're not getting?" Turn it around and ask each question of yourself. Then begin to meet each other's need if that need is healthy-relationship-reasonable."
I am SO going to use this in the future. I may have to make a cheat card and hand it to the Huz, because this is EXACTLY what I need to hear from him and exactly the thoughtfulness/mindfulness I need to have when going into a situation of conflict. It's hard for me to ask what I want when I KNOW what I want, but a lot of times we argue because one or the other (or both!) haven't even stopped to figure out what we do/don't want/need.
OK, I've cluttered up your inboxes enough for one day. :)
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