2010-Our Lives changed with a phone call from CPS

I first cameto this support Groupwhen CPS called us regarding our 3 mth old GS who they found with bio mom (not my daughter) living on the streets in L.A. California.I needed to be with other Grandparents who had to step in and raise their grandchildren. We knewGS had birth issues however; 4 yrs later we didn't know he was going to have severe issues that he has. He has Mild CP, Severe Autism, non verbal, Hyperactive, along with asthma and eczema. My son his father was stuck by a car and killed and the mother disappeared and found in a mental hospital where she signed the adoption papers. We are not sure if or what she did while PG she was known for being a drinker. GS did die when born so he did get brain damage from that. We love him with all of our heart however; we can't go many places because he may have meltdowns. We bought a used RV to go camping because we thought that would be something we could do with him. Until this last weekend, we went to our 2nd Autism Society Campout with many other families but he wouldn't leave our site and wouldn't stay within our gated area. He wanted to go up and down the steps of the RV but since he doesn't go up steps very well we had to help him or stop him from doing it. He wouldn't walk to the main area where all the families were to eat lunch and dinner or go on a hayride. He use to love to go walking around when we camped, we were surprised how he acted this time. He seemed very overwhelmed when we were there and I massaged to help calm him down. He goes to special ed preschool and gets PT, OT, Speech and ABA therapy. Now I fear we won't be able to handle him when he gets older and bigger. He fights me when I try to get him dressed in the morning for school. I get up earlier so we have enough time because he fights me every step of the way. I swore I would never give him medication but when he wasn't going to sleep at night and I worked without sleep we got blood pressure medication that his Neuro Dr gave him. now that isn't working anymore. He shows us love and he is a very happy boy and is always smiling and laughing it's just that he is getting bigger and stronger and hard for me to handle. When my husband isn't working we are a tag team. We also get 30 hours per month of respite care but we will need to have a live in male care giver for him in the future. We can't afford that and I'm not sure if we can get those services. He hasn't learned much the last couple of years and he has had lots of therapy and teaching. Plus, the worse thoughts are what would happen to him is we pass away....