2009 About Me...

GOD WILLING, 2009 WILL BE MINE...ONE DAY AT A TIME   Except for the fact that I STILL NEED A JOB!.... 2008 was one of the worst years of my life:... (I LOST it at work, ... i QUIT my job, ... i realized i was CLINICALLY DEPRESSED!,) ... i have been unemployed for the first time in my adult life during my beloved country's worst economic crisis, ... i experienced FEAR for the first time in my life due to Hurricane Ike, ... I lived WITHOUT POWER for 21 days, and without the INTERNET for 60 days!... AND i came to the realization that over the last 8 years i have LOST COMPLETE CONTROL OF MY LIFE! (you can read more about it in my journal below)...I know you are probably thinking well that's not so bad, but to me it is...On the bright side though, i have also learned a lot in 2008, especially these last few months and days of 2008 and first few days of 2009...I've learned that I can be happy if i take life one day at a time...and I've learned that I'm to busy doing nothing, ...and I've learned that I'm in a hurry and God's not!...I've learned that MY Family consists of God, Myself, My Fiance, and My Son, and that i need to take care of God and Myself, before I can take care of them or anyone else... these are just a few of the things I've learned in 2008, ...and God willing, I am definately going to put all that I've learned and more into making 2009 mine...   It's a long story, and eventually, I'll tell it all...  "I can remember feeling AMBITIOUS, waking up EXCITED about my day, having loads of ENERGY, - I don't know when all of that slipped away. Now its all I can do to pull myself out of bed. I barely keep myself or my children washed and fed; and then only out of a sense of guilt or embarrassment;...I didn't see it coming, i just slowly lost touch with the part of me that was able to care, and I haven't a clue how to find it again"...