I am trying to cope with all this. He is always in  the back of my head. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to, he always preached to me about how people are. Like how they will treat you so good for so long and act like they like you but they are  just using you. Basically all the negative stuff. And I feel like I have no hope for anything. I am doing really bad in school cuz i just dont feel like doing any of it....its really hard. I want to drop my classes and start over next semester but I kno I would be letting everyone down. I just want to be normal....but I dont know what normal is. I just want to have fun ( not like wild fun) but just enjoy life and I dont at all. From what I have seen and what I have heard and been thtrough it seems like there are no good people out there. I know there are but how do you kno who's real and who's not? I guess I should just take it one day at a time. I am not looking to be with anyone for a long time....but when the time comes I dont want to fall into someone's trap ya kno?! I feel sad mad confused disturbed everything. I dont know how to make my life my own. Just live my life the way i want to because I dont know whats the right and whats the wrong way to live my life. I have to live my life w/out him in the back of my mind. He makes me feel like everything i do is wrong.