Earlier I would have said this was the worst day of my life. He said so many mean things today.... called me sooo many hurtful names. When really all I did was love him and I did soo much for him its almost embarrassing! Yes I will admit I was nowhere near innocent in this relationship, I lied to him alot ( never cheated) but alot of times I lied because I felt i had to. He was so intimidating, and always argued w/ me or called me names so I would lie to try to avoid it... even if it was something stupid. But I really did love him more than anyone else will. Even though I wasn't innocent... i honestly feel like it was his fault we didnt work out. He always wanted to argue and always made things more difficult then they really were. But I think I have realized that he is so controlling and always bringing me down because he has his own issues with himself. He may not admit it or even realize it, but i honestly think he brings me down to make himself feel better.  Right now I am feeling like I have a lot to look forward to. Almost like I am free. It is going to be very different w/out him here. We were together for 3 yrs, he was my best friend for awhile. we had good times but more bad times. He blames it all on me but I know deep down its not. I wish he knew that too..... i hope he really doesnt think i am all the things he said I was. I hope I stay this positive.... but im afraid its gonna get worse later on before it gets better.