I know i deserve so much better. I get accused of everything when all i do is go to work and/or class and come home. I dont have friends... i dont go out, i dont do anything. But im still accused of cheating and lying when thats exactly what he does. He controls me, hits me when i do something wrong, calls me all kinds of names. And i do nothing to deserve it! I want to get out but im afraid to. im not sure exactly why im so afraid. I dont even like to see him anymore. I dont want him to come over or anything. I think part of it might be changing my routine..... like who am I gonna call when im bored....that kind of stuff. I think im stuck in the past when we were getting along. But everything changed when that other bitch came along. I guess i cant leave because i dont know whats out there for me..... i mean what if this is the best it gets? What if he is the only person I ever fall in love with? I watch all the romantic movies.... and want my life to be like that. I want to find the man thats always in the movies. Someone who appreciates me. And i feel like sometimes I have confidence that it will happen, but the truth is....it most likely won't. Im sure thats what everyone hoped for and now there on here talking about how their spouse abuses or cheated on them. Its really depressing..... I have no idea what its like to have someone appreciate me. I want the whole fairy tale thing ( like most girls) but that just doesnt happen. It just sucks because I feel like i have nothing to look forward to anymore. I feel like I just have a sad boring life....
Replies
Sweetie,
This is not \"the best it gets!\" Believe me, we all want the fairy tale, but some of us have gotten hooked up with the villain in the story instead of the hero.
I understand the \"who am I gonna\' call when I\'m bored\" thing, but why are you afraid to get out? Are you afraid he will hurt you? (The violence you are experiencing is not okay--my Mom spent 20 years in an abusive marriage before getting out.) You need to make sure you are safe. But staying in an abusive relationship because you don\'t know what the future holds is not good. Would being alone be worse than where you are now?
I have been unhappily married for most of the past 13 years--my experience has been that if someone doesn\'t want to change, the problems just get worse.
Hang in there!
; )
Hi Meg, found you on the infidelity board and saw some of the comments. You are so young! Your life is just beginning. Don\'t let this jerk control you. There are men out there that will treat you like a princess. And there\'s just no reason to waste time with someone who doesn\'t. And it sounds like you\'re in the perfect place emotionally to make a break from him. Be strong and use DS for support! Best of luck!
I\'ve been where you are, Meg. This is not as good as it gets. There are men out there who are thoughtful, compassionate, caring, loving, respectful, etc. They DO exist. Don\'t let this one brief relationship ruin your expectations later on in life. Believe me, I thought I had the end all be all love 8 years ago. That didn\'t last...ended in abuse. Then 5 years later, met a great guy who didn\'t want a committed relationship. Okay, met another guy, fell in love, he abused me, I left. Now I\'m alone, but I know that I\'d rather be alone and content than with him and miserable.
It gets better, doll. Believe me. Had I had someone tell me all of this when I was 18 and heartbroken, I wouldn\'t have believed them. But now...having lived through all of these experiences, I know that I DO deserve better...and I WILL have better.
So will you, Meg. So will you.