Everyday only gets harder.......... thinking that one of these days me and my "ex" are going to stop talking completely!! It scares me to death. I am okay sometimes because i think it is best, but I still want to be with him if he changes........ if only he could be nicer!! I only talk to him once a day.....but soon its gonna be none. And i dont want him to talk to anyone else........ i think about him meeting other girls and it makes me sick. Instead of thinking about the horrible things he did to me I only think about the stuff I am going to miss. I hate this I dont ever want to do this again. I know I will never have the same feels for anyone else. But i know he doesn't truly love me he only stayed because I took care of him....... but I still think about going back......but once I do I will regret it. I guess I just wish he would of cared more it's killing me knowing this is much harder for me than it is for him. He says he cares that we dont talk anymore he just doesn't show it like I do......but I dont know if I believe it. I have this friend I work with he has been helping me get through this....... we were never more than friends but we had some inacent flirting just cuz it was funny,   but i honestly dont think this would be possible without him helping me. It still sucks though...... i just want my ex to love me. Its not fair!!!!!!!!