I am so tired of feeling this way...... am I always going to be this way?? how can I fix it?!?  I am just so down all the time. Its like sadness is a comfort zone to me, if i am not sad I make myself sad somehow because I feel like I shouldn't be happy. I always feel like no one wants me around me because it seems like all they can do is judge me and tell me everything I do wrong and what they dont like about me. But at the same time I think I isolate myself from people because I hate when they look at me because I dont want them to look at me w/ disappointment. I think thats how everyone really looks at me....... or they are thinking how much they hate me  and how much I get on their nerves! That is how I really feel all the time. It sucks......... I cant enjoy anything. I just want to know that people want me to be around and that I am not a total failure. There has to be something I do right!