I went to the doctor today because I was referred by my regular doctor to get the laser done but my doctor doesn't do laser so I had to go to a different one. It turned out everything was pretty okay. The doctor did another pap smear and it turned out I didn't have to have the laser done. I did have mild dysplasia but he said it was nothing to worry about yet and we will just have to watch it and make sure it doesn't get worse.....it could be better but at least its not severe.
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I feel so horrible. I just feel like a coward and weak. I let too many things go when I know I shouldn\'t. I let my boyfriend get away with everything, and he does whatever he wants because he knows I won\'t leave him. I HATE that i\'m like this! And I do whatever he wants me to do because I am afraid he will leave even though I\'m not totally happy with him. Like now I have been calling him for 2 hours and he has not answered the phone he\'s probably w/ another girl. And when he calls I probably will just let it go like always. I dont know how to change without being scared of whats gonna happen