20 years... wow...

Well sitting here thinking the day went well.. except for a few tears in the morning of course... It's been 20 years... since my girl died.... and I find it hard still to believe that all this time has passed... I think of the son-in-law that I'll never have... the grandchildren that I'll never have... I know my girls in God's hands... where she is safe and loved and yepe close to me at all times... but I would love to stroke her cheek... and tell her I love her... Gosh, I can still remember the feels of her cheek under my fingers... she was amazing that girl of mine... and the eyes... wow... blue, bluer than the sky... and a smile that lit up the day... yepe... she was mine... I feel for my youngest.. she's missing that person... that special person.. the big sister... the big sister to lean on that was allways there for her... I know that to this day... she misses her sister ... and of course her brother... but in three short weeks... I'll be dealing with the anniversary of Paul's death... and wow... it all came so close together... 3 weeks and 2 children dead... and.. Why.... I never knew why... and I guess I'll never know why... But... I cope... I know that it wasn't their choice to leave... and that there must be something in the big picture... eventually I'll know... I have to console myself with that... and the fact that the very last words I ever said to either of them... was love ya... be good... and they were.... later chantillet.  Missing them allways and forever...