20 months and still hurting

Βwhy am I still choked with emotion? It has been 20 months!But the emotion of seeing Brad dead and seeing the police put him in that bag will always be part of me> I miss Brad.We were not getting along.He was getting tired of me.I tried to make it work and no matter what I did..i was always wrong.First it was my hearing and i will account for this.without hearing aids and the funds to obtain them it can get annoying.I dont have any hearing aids at all and i cannot afford them.I use one of these ampliyer that you see in Radio Shack and it is expensive.30.00.As for my teeth...Washington wont pay for the teeth,hearing and glasses anymore.We are having a tremendous cut back.And the jobs that here suck.I cant get a job.All i have is my m ystery shoopper and that dont pay much and  that is bull.I wish things were a little better.but they are not and i refuse to relocate out of seattle.I love this town.There are so many things to do and I must wait for the summer and i cant wait to start living again.