2 mrw my baby would have been 3 yrs old

I am trying to keep it together today. I thought I was okay, earlier at about 12 was when it started going downhill when I realized that my doctor's apt the day I found out about Sophia being gone was scheduled for 12:45 September 16th, 2010. I kept myself busy and didn't think about it until about 4:30 when my sister called to ask how I was and said she was thinking about Sophia too. Then not 5 mins after I hung up my mom calls to ask if I want her to come over and bring pizza and wine. I declined, but knowing that my baby is not forgotten and feeling like people care really was almost bittersweet and all day since then I keep having random crying bouts. Not sobbing, just little tears out of nowhere.
I miss you my angel. oh my sweet god in heaven, I would cut off my legs and arms to have you back here. I saw a little girl at walmart today who looked just like I always pictured you would. She was about 3, little black Native girl pigtails and a nose just like you and me. I bought you some bubbles, and tomorrow I will go and buy you a teddy bear, then I'm going to take it to the women's shelter downtown so that another baby can play with them for you. I wish I knew what to say or do. Just know that I desperately miss you and today the pain is a reminder of just how beautiful you were.
 
I love you Sophia. Three years without you feels like half my life, I can't wait to see you again.