2 months today
Hi Sweetie,
I can't believe it's been 2 months today that you left us. I don't think the date is as hard for me as the day is. Every Monday I find myself constantly looking at the clock and remembering each hour of what we did, said, etc. Tuesday mornings are the worse because I know the last time I talked to you but so happy that our last words to each other were me: I love you, you: I love you more. That was your classic response I think I'm doing pretty well given the fact it's only been 2 months. I started going out more but of course, I make sure I'm home before it gets dark. Some places are still to hard to go but I'll eventually do it in my own time. I pray every night that God give me the strength to accept the fact that I'm alone now and it's not just a bad dream. I stay strong to honor your memory knowing you would NOT want me sitting at home alone and crying all the time. I find joy in the memories we made in our 36 years, our 4 kid and 9 grandkids. We were blessed with so much and I'm thankful for the time God gave us. There are times in the last few days I feel guilty because I'm not crying constantly but I realize it's because you're watching over me and always hated when I cried. Bringing that dog to Todd gave me and him more comfort and peace than anything. "Mac" is proof you're still concerned about us and taking care of us.
I went to Mike & Carol's last night for dinner and Jim was in town. It was a nice evening but made me miss you so much, wishing you were there with us. I still have my sad days and miss you like crazy but I know you didn't leave because you wanted to, God had control over that and knew you were suffering so He took you back home. When I start feeling sad and lonely, I think about your last 2 weeks remembering what hell you went through and I would not want you suffering like that. You were so strong and never complained...I don't know how you did it. You're my hero but you knew that already.
I love and miss you so much but I'm determined to be strong and carry on and make you proud of me.
I can't believe it's been 2 months today that you left us. I don't think the date is as hard for me as the day is. Every Monday I find myself constantly looking at the clock and remembering each hour of what we did, said, etc. Tuesday mornings are the worse because I know the last time I talked to you but so happy that our last words to each other were me: I love you, you: I love you more. That was your classic response I think I'm doing pretty well given the fact it's only been 2 months. I started going out more but of course, I make sure I'm home before it gets dark. Some places are still to hard to go but I'll eventually do it in my own time. I pray every night that God give me the strength to accept the fact that I'm alone now and it's not just a bad dream. I stay strong to honor your memory knowing you would NOT want me sitting at home alone and crying all the time. I find joy in the memories we made in our 36 years, our 4 kid and 9 grandkids. We were blessed with so much and I'm thankful for the time God gave us. There are times in the last few days I feel guilty because I'm not crying constantly but I realize it's because you're watching over me and always hated when I cried. Bringing that dog to Todd gave me and him more comfort and peace than anything. "Mac" is proof you're still concerned about us and taking care of us.
I went to Mike & Carol's last night for dinner and Jim was in town. It was a nice evening but made me miss you so much, wishing you were there with us. I still have my sad days and miss you like crazy but I know you didn't leave because you wanted to, God had control over that and knew you were suffering so He took you back home. When I start feeling sad and lonely, I think about your last 2 weeks remembering what hell you went through and I would not want you suffering like that. You were so strong and never complained...I don't know how you did it. You're my hero but you knew that already.
I love and miss you so much but I'm determined to be strong and carry on and make you proud of me.
Replies
How lovely Judy, My husband used to tell me that if he passed away to get on with life, even find another husband. Something I don\'t want to do. I don\'t think he understood how much I loved him. And how his leaving has broken my heart. You wrote so many things that I feel. I\'m happy you are doing so good. Take care, Linda