2 months today
Hi Sweetie,
I can't believe it's been 2 months today that you left us. I don't think the date is as hard for me as the day is. Every Monday I find myself constantly looking at the clock and remembering each hour of what we did, said, etc. Tuesday mornings are the worse because I know the last time I talked to you but so happy that our last words to each other were me: I love you, you: I love you more. That was your classic response I think I'm doing pretty well given the fact it's only been 2 months. I started going out more but of course, I make sure I'm home before it gets dark. Some places are still to hard to go but I'll eventually do it in my own time. I pray every night that God give me the strength to accept the fact that I'm alone now and it's not just a bad dream. I stay strong to honor your memory knowing you would NOT want me sitting at home alone and crying all the time. I find joy in the memories we made in our 36 years, our 4 kid and 9 grandkids. We were blessed with so much and I'm thankful for the time God gave us. There are times in the last few days I feel guilty because I'm not crying constantly but I realize it's because you're watching over me and always hated when I cried. Bringing that dog to Todd gave me and him more comfort and peace than anything. "Mac" is proof you're still concerned about us and taking care of us.
I went to Mike & Carol's last night for dinner and Jim was in town. It was a nice evening but made me miss you so much, wishing you were there with us. I still have my sad days and miss you like crazy but I know you didn't leave because you wanted to, God had control over that and knew you were suffering so He took you back home. When I start feeling sad and lonely, I think about your last 2 weeks remembering what hell you went through and I would not want you suffering like that. You were so strong and never complained...I don't know how you did it. You're my hero but you knew that already.
I love and miss you so much but I'm determined to be strong and carry on and make you proud of me.
I can't believe it's been 2 months today that you left us. I don't think the date is as hard for me as the day is. Every Monday I find myself constantly looking at the clock and remembering each hour of what we did, said, etc. Tuesday mornings are the worse because I know the last time I talked to you but so happy that our last words to each other were me: I love you, you: I love you more. That was your classic response I think I'm doing pretty well given the fact it's only been 2 months. I started going out more but of course, I make sure I'm home before it gets dark. Some places are still to hard to go but I'll eventually do it in my own time. I pray every night that God give me the strength to accept the fact that I'm alone now and it's not just a bad dream. I stay strong to honor your memory knowing you would NOT want me sitting at home alone and crying all the time. I find joy in the memories we made in our 36 years, our 4 kid and 9 grandkids. We were blessed with so much and I'm thankful for the time God gave us. There are times in the last few days I feel guilty because I'm not crying constantly but I realize it's because you're watching over me and always hated when I cried. Bringing that dog to Todd gave me and him more comfort and peace than anything. "Mac" is proof you're still concerned about us and taking care of us.
I went to Mike & Carol's last night for dinner and Jim was in town. It was a nice evening but made me miss you so much, wishing you were there with us. I still have my sad days and miss you like crazy but I know you didn't leave because you wanted to, God had control over that and knew you were suffering so He took you back home. When I start feeling sad and lonely, I think about your last 2 weeks remembering what hell you went through and I would not want you suffering like that. You were so strong and never complained...I don't know how you did it. You're my hero but you knew that already.
I love and miss you so much but I'm determined to be strong and carry on and make you proud of me.
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