1st Storm of the Season Alone

John, Well here it is September 2, 2011 and it's Labor Day Weekend and like usual Hurricane Season and there's a storm in the gulf.  Having to worry about 1 house is bad enough but two.  Boy I have never felt more alone in my life.  This is the first time in my life that I will face a "Storm" totally alone.  Me and Pebbles,  this house is so big and empty without you in it.  Thinking about getting a smaller one maybe I will move to Lafayette with Chad and Kristy after all.  No memories there yet still close enough to see everyone.  Everyone tells me to wait a year since I might regret it only time will tell.  Gina and Hal made it home from Disney the weather was bad reminded me of the last time we took Alexa and from Alabama to New Orleans you could barely see out the window.  How I miss those last minute trips just to get away you and me and you would always have to go tell Lexi bye just so she could look at you and say "Pops" you aren't going without "Me" and you would tell her hurry and pack your suitcase. She really misses you and is having to see someone to deal with it.  She is too young to be going thru so much pain you were her everything.  Your girls are falling apart too they just try to hide it from me but you know me nobody could ever fool me.  So I act like I don't notice so they don't see me fall apart too.  That is left for at night when I am by myself and can write to you.  It helps to say it out loud.  Went eat with your daughter tonight and wasn't expecting to hear what she told me I suspected, but you knew that she just needed to tell me.  Her life is totally falling apart since you left.  She feels like you were the only man in her life that loved her unconditionally, boy do I know how she feels.  Wish you were here so I could talk to you.  You could help me to make sense out of everything you were my other half and together we could face anything.  Now I could do anything I want and I don't want anything other than to be back in your arms.  I would trade all the money, possessions and my life just to have one more minute with you.  Cause without you nothing is worth living for.  You were my everything and now I feel I have nothing.   I guess this storm has me feeling down in the dumps.  You always said this weather was great for one thing, LOL.  You had a one track mind.  Boy how I miss that.  Well it's getting late way past your bedtime LOL.   Goodnite My Love.  Dra'

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Send us some of that rain...we really need it.
tink59
tink59

Tornado Warnings, Wind is Howling and so is my Dog! You can have this weather if you would like. Sending it your way! Just Kidding can\'t wish this on anyone. Tink
KipB
KipB

You have weathered a great storm already. These weather events will come and go but you\'ll have them strength to ride them out. Although I must say, I was a little scared being alone through Irene last week. Hang in there. Hugs, Kip.
icezam19
icezam19

It\'s so hard to watch our children suffer. I\'m going through the same thing. My daughter was so close to her dad.........they were a lot alike. Now, she also says she lost the only man in her life who loved her unconditionally. Her husband has lost his patience (it\'s been 15 months since Bill died). They also have a special needs child. Lots of stress on the marriage. I am doing the best I can but Bill would have added great support to her AND to me. :(
swindy
swindy

Both of my daughters had a problem with their dad dying. They went to a grief share group at church but now 14 months later they still have problems. I don\'t envy you the hurricane that must be terrifying. Hang in there though, better days are ahead. Diane
tink59
tink59

Well weathering the storm alone has not been as bad as I thought. Your Dad called and I went over your brother was down. He has lost a lot of weight down to 175 and 5.9\" tall he looked fantastic even though he is a few years older they laughed about how you died so you could keep your hair, cause they are all losing theirs. He and I had an amazing connection we would just look at each other and laugh he reminded me so much of you. He said they were all jealous of our love he said they never understood it until they saw us at the wedding two weeks before you died and how after all these years they witnessed what we felt for each other. And after you died how it made them all realize how lucky me and you were and what they were missing in their relationships. I reminded him of someone too he said. We won\'t go there but we giggled and laughed all night and I will go back tomorrow for lunch before he leaves. It sure was great to be in his arms for a hug if only for a little while, he told me I looked amazing and had a twinkle in my eye and we both laughed. Then he drove my van and we went eat out the others went in the other vehicle. He laughed and said I bet they are all wishing they were in here so they would know what was going on between the two of us. The flirting it was fun and brought a smile to both of our faces. Made us feel like kids again. So yes I do realize that life goes on and I can talk and flirt all I want and then walk away or run. Imagine your brother confiding in me that was funny in itself because they would never confide in you. Wanted you to think they were perfect, but oh if you only knew, well now I guess you do. (LOL) Love you, Babe. Dra\'
oceanamoonjl
oceanamoonjl

Well, it sounds like you \"weathered the storm\"!! I think writing to our late partners sometimes is so cathartic...I\'m sorry re: your loss & your daughters too.I know what it feels like to miss my late partner and how it feels like life will never be the same again! I\'m glad you had some good moments in there this weekend though!! Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers, Jess