1st Journal Entry; trying to get through my saddness
I am new to DS and hope that it will help me through my saddness; I recently miscarried my second pregnancy.
This is my story:
I struggled for a year trying to get pregnant with my son. I watched everyone around be getting pregnant without any problems and constantly being asked when I would have a baby. I used a monitor, tried accupuncture and lots of prayer to help us get pregnant. We met with an infertility Dr. and decided to take a break (since we were starting to feel hopeless), but out of the blue we finally found ourselves pregnant. I had a wonderful normal pregnancy until at 33 weeks my water broke while at work. Since I work in OB I got things checked out and all the test came back negative, but later that day I woke up very uncomfortable (and in labor although I didn't know it) we rushed to the nearest hospital and within 14 minutes my beautiful baby boy was born. He stayed in the hospital for 3 weeks and is now a happy and healthy 15 month old.
This past April to our great suprise we found ourselves pregnant again! We were initially a bit shock since it took us so long the first time around and we weren't really trying but after a few weeks we started getting excited and feeling so blessed to be having another baby. On May 20th I went for my first OB visit, I was feeling nervous and that something might be wrong but figured it was just nerves. When the Dr. went to do the ultrasound my biggest fears came true; there was no baby just and empty sac. She immediately set up for me to have another ultrasound at the hospital and some blood work, and she also had me have another beta in 2 days to see if my levels would change. The second ultrasound also showed and empty sac, but my Dr. wanted to wait till monday to see what the beta results were and hope that my dates were off. I have never felt so numb or alone in my whole life; I couldn't believe this was happening to me. Mondays results showed the levels were dropping and since I had no bleeding and cramping and could not wait weeks for the miscarriage to happen; I opted to have a D&C.
Although my husband has been wonderful and trying to support me the best he can; I am still feeling so sad and alone. I love my son and it helps to see his smiling face and hug him but I still want that baby back. I am hoping through DS and the Share program that I can start to heal and get through my grief.
Thanks for listening!
This is my story:
I struggled for a year trying to get pregnant with my son. I watched everyone around be getting pregnant without any problems and constantly being asked when I would have a baby. I used a monitor, tried accupuncture and lots of prayer to help us get pregnant. We met with an infertility Dr. and decided to take a break (since we were starting to feel hopeless), but out of the blue we finally found ourselves pregnant. I had a wonderful normal pregnancy until at 33 weeks my water broke while at work. Since I work in OB I got things checked out and all the test came back negative, but later that day I woke up very uncomfortable (and in labor although I didn't know it) we rushed to the nearest hospital and within 14 minutes my beautiful baby boy was born. He stayed in the hospital for 3 weeks and is now a happy and healthy 15 month old.
This past April to our great suprise we found ourselves pregnant again! We were initially a bit shock since it took us so long the first time around and we weren't really trying but after a few weeks we started getting excited and feeling so blessed to be having another baby. On May 20th I went for my first OB visit, I was feeling nervous and that something might be wrong but figured it was just nerves. When the Dr. went to do the ultrasound my biggest fears came true; there was no baby just and empty sac. She immediately set up for me to have another ultrasound at the hospital and some blood work, and she also had me have another beta in 2 days to see if my levels would change. The second ultrasound also showed and empty sac, but my Dr. wanted to wait till monday to see what the beta results were and hope that my dates were off. I have never felt so numb or alone in my whole life; I couldn't believe this was happening to me. Mondays results showed the levels were dropping and since I had no bleeding and cramping and could not wait weeks for the miscarriage to happen; I opted to have a D&C.
Although my husband has been wonderful and trying to support me the best he can; I am still feeling so sad and alone. I love my son and it helps to see his smiling face and hug him but I still want that baby back. I am hoping through DS and the Share program that I can start to heal and get through my grief.
Thanks for listening!
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