1st journal entry
This is my first journal on DS. I am new to the site only joining yesterday. I've already met some nice people here..thank you for your kindness.
I'm having a rough morning. I slept a long time having vivid dreams. My Addiction Recovery Program meeting was frustrating. The thing is that the church I go to sponsers the group. Its their program and its a great one too. That's not the problem. The problem is that I'm gay and a member of said church. Now the church has strong policies about homosexuality...the love the person not the actions. I'm dealing with the split life between the right and supposed wrong. The emotions associated dealing with this issue is like riding a rollercoaster. Anyway back to my point...There's a man in the group...the leader, who is very inspiring to me. He has been most supportive since the group began 2 1/2 years ago. He has strong dislikes of gays. I often wonder what he would think of me if he knew about me. After the meeting last night the drive home was very long and very upsetting. I keep thinking how I cannot be part of the church. I am so frustrated right now. I have come to terms with my sexuality if only I could with my spirituality. I struggle alone....and that's is my story...part of it anyway.
I'm having a rough morning. I slept a long time having vivid dreams. My Addiction Recovery Program meeting was frustrating. The thing is that the church I go to sponsers the group. Its their program and its a great one too. That's not the problem. The problem is that I'm gay and a member of said church. Now the church has strong policies about homosexuality...the love the person not the actions. I'm dealing with the split life between the right and supposed wrong. The emotions associated dealing with this issue is like riding a rollercoaster. Anyway back to my point...There's a man in the group...the leader, who is very inspiring to me. He has been most supportive since the group began 2 1/2 years ago. He has strong dislikes of gays. I often wonder what he would think of me if he knew about me. After the meeting last night the drive home was very long and very upsetting. I keep thinking how I cannot be part of the church. I am so frustrated right now. I have come to terms with my sexuality if only I could with my spirituality. I struggle alone....and that's is my story...part of it anyway.
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