1st entry
a few know my story, or what ive posted anyways, most of you dont. im a little over 3 months separated from my wife, in the past i was inappropriate with women online and ive contributed heavily to debt in her name by either buying things we needed and liked or things i wanted.
i have been depressed since 12 or so, so that and feeling like a monster for doing those things to my wife takes a big chunck out of me.
i take care of my dad 6 days week, sundays off, sometimes i dont even get that.
today is like every other day since she left, i wake up early to take care of dad, drink lots of coffee during the day, browse this site, maybe take a look at others that pertain to a video game i have, stare at my phone it hopes she will text me, and oh God how i wish and pray its her saying ok, yes we can try this again. i mostly feel horrible and like garbage, more so when i think back at what ive done, and double that when i sit and think of the hurt and pain my wife is going through.
id give my life to save hers, i adore her.
so today, my first entry in this thing, i feel like complete garbage and worthless.
Replies
Dang man, don't be so hard in yourself.
Though that's typical of a depressive personality. Still, your not perfect and that hardly makes you garbage.
Keeping a journal is a great thing to do. Whether its public or private. Its therapeutic to write your feelings down.
Many therapists recommend it.
Its a good read. Keep writing, I'll keep reading.
I hope you can start to see yourself in a better light. Your probably a good guy over all.
I see a lot if what i am going through in your posts. The only difference is you care about your wife and what you have done, where my soon to be ex doesn't care about me and thinks doing the same thing is ok. Keep your head up! Things will work out for you