1st Birthday

I just got back from my granddaughters birthday party.  It was her first.  She had three set of grandparents there, all couples except for me.  I sat there watching her play with her presents, remembering when she was born.  It was cold and raining that day, sort of like today actually.  The swine flu was making the rounds in the newspapers, scaring everyone, especially hospital powers that be.  They wouldn't let us in the hospital room with my step-daughter.  Instead, we stood looking in through the nursery window at the beautiful bundle of joy.  Our second grandchild.
Today I was struck with such sadness that my husband wasn't there.  I looked into the eyes of his grand-daughter, the child that would never know him, and saw so much of my DH there.  True, she looks more like her father, but I saw deeper than the external visage. 
There's still a part of me that wonders why my husband didn't listen to me and watch his bloodpressure.  I try to slilence that voice.
Seven months and counting.