I thought I was getting better. I thought that everything was going right on track. I had a undeniably supporting boyfriend, my father and I were starting to get along, I was recieving scholarships for my singing. I had turned to drugs for a while because I felt like smoking the occasional joint helped me from going insane and I have now quit that because I have realized that my grades and life were suffering. Things are turning for the worse again. My dad started abusing me again. Calling me a joke, calling me worthless, saying that I'm nothing but a greedy bitch who inly uses him for his money,  he tells everyone Im wasting my life participating in music. He's ashamed of me and has no reason to be. My mom is doing her best trying to raise me and my brother by herself but its not working. We have to live day by day. My boyfriend is suffering from severe depression and is treating me badly and like he doesnt care, but I cant leave him like that, I feel like he needs me even though it just seems like he is pushing me away. my bestfriend is in the hospital for attempting suicide and she is usually the one who helps me and now I'm alone. I feel like I have no real friends because everyone knows Im the girl with the alcoholic father and I walk around the school hallways and just feel like everyone feels sorry for me or thinks Im pathetic. I have enough to deal with without everyone giving me the puppydog eyes and treating me like a pity party. I can't go back to drugs, thats the wrong thing to do and now, I'm just trying to live day by day, but its hard when your once hero father is now a drunk that treats me like Im the lowest form of a human being possible. Im only 17 and i feel like i have the mind of someone 30 or 40 years older than that.  I used to be my dads little girland now Im his disappointment. I used to be my bofriends reason to smile and now now Im his mental punching bag.