Monday

Here it is,another stupid Monday,I use to have no problem with the days of the week but ever since you died on a monday,it feels like the worst day of the week.It is only 4 days till the 1st of December and then it will be 4 month's since you left this world.Can I believe it? No. Can I accept it? I guess I really do not have a choice.There are day's when I feel like you are here and days when I feel like you have been gone forever.Sometimes I feel like the life we had together was just a dream.I wish this was just a very long nightmare and I would finally wake up and everything would be normal,but I have been waiting for almost 4 months and it has not happened yet.I do know for sure that God is in control and he will see me and our kids through this and that we will all be together again.We are still going to church and was presented to the church yesterday and voted in,now we are going to decide what Sunday we will be getting baptitized.I read all the info I can on heaven,I just really want to know what it's like and what you could be doing.I certainly do not think anyone would ever get bored there and that God has a job for all of us to do.Trying to hold it together here and it is getting my favorite time of year,as you know,Christmas is the be all end all for me,I love it,always have always will.We will have things to do and keep busy from the 30th on,as usual waiting on the money to come from the govt.I have decorated a good bit,got a few more thing's to buy and several more gifts too.We will be having things at the church,and the kids and I will do the usual riding around,looking at lights all over the area.The whole time we will be thinking of you and missing you.You have to know that even though you are in heaven,we are never that far apart,Love never dies,you carry it with you ,We carry you with us everywhere.We love you forever.Me and kids.