Why?

I dont understand this pain. I feel like I do at times but, I also feel like I could never love again. There are so many things that I dont know about this marrige. How could she cheat on me when Im in Iraq. Are people truly that evil. Have I been blinded to all that was in front of me. I want to move on. I want to be better as a person and a husband yet I feel that I wont be given a chance. At times I feel that all this will pass with time but, the pain all seems to everwhelm me when I least expect it. God, I am sorry for all I have done wrong to others in my life. I feel this must be my punishment. I just dont want to hurt anymore.