Well Peachy, One year ago when you were diagnosed with pd, your neuro suggested that you attend a group for the newly diagnosed, this group was for people who had discovered that they had pd with in the last 1 to 5 years (god bless their souls) So peachy, says to the neuoro, will this freak me out,( as really i am so scared) Neuro, please tell me will i be the youngest person there, will l cry, will i be able to handle this? WILL I BE SCARED??? Neuro says, yes peachy you will be fine, you will learn things. Peachy goes along. drives into the carpark , parks the car, looks around , everyone is so much older than her, wow at least 20 years older.. Peachy you dont belong she tells herself,,, but at the same time, peachy you do belong (gosh dont you love how i speak in the 3rd person, and tell it like a storey, makes it easier to distance myself) so then she goes in to the seminar. The seminar goes for around 3 hours... Peachy lasts for about 1/2 an hour ) no one there to support her , and her fears. Seminar ... eeek, very very scary. No need to go there with what l learned in that quick 1/2 hour.. Peachy runs to the toilets , not coping with what she has learned.. Now one year later im thinking about going to a support meeting for people with pd this weekend, and i have sort of put myself down for it, and Im so scared, to do this ,,,,, it will be like facing what l have , right in the face. I know i will be the youngest person there. I know this is my future... Im scared to look at it, ,,, and also at the same I need the support. Has anyone guessed here that im one of the most scared people here on the planet. Do you think i should go to this meeting??? SHIT!!! I have twice in my silent , mentioning way tried to say my fears to my partner, and a friend, but they did not hear me. I have always been to brave , never asked for help, so now when i try to timidly creep the fears that i have into a conversation, it seems like no-one hears me... does any one understand what i mean there.. i start a conversation with something like, oh dear im worried about i have to do this................ and then the person im having the converstion goes into thier own dramas, of which i support totally, and they forget the issues that i have brought up,, so i just let it go, and keep it for myself. i tried twice this week to discuss my fears , with my partner and a friend, and it didnt work Sometimes i feel all i have here is DS...
Replies
Peachy, I cannot tell you how I feel about PD.But I can tell you that I felt the same way about cancer. Most people just don\'t want to hear your problems because they cannot relate to them. If you are close to them they may be scared as well. If they listen to you then THEY have to accept the problem. If they are just friends most of the time they feel that their problems are just as bad. I don\'t know about your doctor but some are just not people friendly. They are good doctors but they have no bedside manners. When they give a diagnose they just do it by rote. With no emotion, no sympathy. As for friends on DS , they have been my support. I can ask them anything and expect to get support and caring. If I give an opinion they take it and don\'t throw it back.
In short I think a lot of us have experienced the same feelings for different reasons. Sending lots of love and hugs to you. XOXO pat
Peachy, I know exactly what you mean. It\'s a scary thing, and it scares other people, too. If I were you, I would give the support group another try. I\'m one of the youngest in my support group, too, but there is a bright side. I look at some of the people in the group who have had PD for 10, 15, 20 years and I see them laughing and having fun. Some of them still work full or part time, some still drive. I hear their stories about the places they go and the things they do even though in some cases they have real trouble walking and talking. Sometimes the stories are sad, but when they share them with people who understand, it makes it easier, and sometimes we all end up laughing together, having seen the funny side of it. I always feel encouraged after a meeting, especially when you consider that we have better treatments now and every day we get closer to a cure. I figure if these folks can go 15 or 20 years with PD and still laugh and smile, then so can I.
Hugs,
Marian