Okay today im going to complain!!! I feel so so so tired, my job is a very demanding high stress position, of which before pd, i thrived on, and now with pd it is so hard to keep up. Is it true that i cannot multi task anymore, because my brain just cant cope with doing what i could easily do before ( 5 things at once) . I struggled so much today just to even to write a simple note , and i hope no one noticed that my handwriting was like a 5 year olds , i made excuses for it anyway. I would absolutely lose my job if i cant keep up,,, that terrifies me,,,,, as the alternative is a disability pension,,,,,,,,, i rent a house,,,, i have 3 dependent children,,,,,,, i couldnt afford to not work!!! I dont have family that can support me,,,,, i dont have a live in partner. F#*!! ( yes thats swearing) Today was really bad. And what makes it worse, is i come home to an empty house, no-one here , my children are teenagers, enjoying their lives, out with friends... My darling partner is away on a conference for a week, and I hate being alone, hate it , especially when all i crave is someone here in my house , just to be here, and maybe talk me out of this feeling,, or at least give me a hug, something simple !!!Im sitting here, trying to move my leg, and its not working, i wish i had someone to just massage it ! Why was i feeling good , mobile, active, and for the last 3 days, it has changed. So i sit here alone, typing a message , thats so alone
Replies
O dear Peachybum, I\'m so sorry to hear you have had a bad day and that no one is there to console you. Know that you are being thought about. I\'m sending you a BIG VIRTUAL HUG.
I hate you had a bad day! You have a high stress job? You really need to seek employment that doesn\'t stress you so bad! Stress is the number one inhibitor of progression! It can make you progress very quickly! Symptoms can come and go in early stages, some related to stress! I wish I had been online, but maybe next time! I hope your evening goes better! Hugs!
Another hug here...i\'ve just gone through similiar with work. And I know you don\'t want to weigh your teens down, but have a heart to heart talk with them..let them know you need a lil help now n then. my heart goes out to you...not alot of help, I know, but you hang in there..do what is best for you. hugs
I know what you mean about the multitasking. I, too, used to be able to do that, and now I can\'t. So frustrating! Do your co-workers know you have PD? Your boss? I went ahead and told everyone, and I found that it really reduced my stress level. It\'s tough to put pride aside and ask for help or special consideration, but sometimes you really have to.
I hope you feel better soon, and when your kids come home, just go ahead and hug them, even if they get embarrassed. They like it, they\'re just too cool to admit it!
Another virtual hug from me: OOO
Marian
I\'m only 20 minutes drive away; maybe we can have that cup of coffee and chat... you need not feel so lonely; I understand you...
As for work; you may be surprised how supportive they are when you finally tell them; they may lighten your load; not all businesses are run by ruthless people. In my case, my Principal (at the school I taught), told me that as the youngest of 6 children, she only ever knew her father as having PD. PD affects many people, and even if they do not know about it, they may be interested in finding out about it.
Don\'t undersetimate yourself as an employee; I\'m sure you are popular at work; not just an indespensible commodity. There\'s years of working life left in you; you may just have to adjust!
Karyn.
Don\'t forget that you had bad days at work before PD. I find myself blaming everything on PD and have to keep reminding myself that there\'s more to my life. Bad and good things happened before and they will happen now and most of them won\'t be connected to PD. I just won\'t let it take over my life. Hugs to you on a bad day.
thank you everybody, you all have wise words of advice, you are right bwilli!!! i did have stress days before pd,