school..........

so i'm going back to school in the fall.....i'm excited....the thing is, i was doing so well and then all this ED stuff came up.....i want to be able to get through this school year without crap, but i worry that i won't be able to....i wanna be successful and everything, but i just don't know....i don't have school until august so i have time, but i hope things go well and okay...i also feel like i hafta constantly apologize to my parents for this ED thing....they're taking this harder than they have everything else.....i feel like i hafta apologize for having this, for even being alive.....i've had so many suicidal thoughts recently the past few days.....it just makes me so upset that i feel like my parents don't care and that they treat this like a joke or something....i dunno...