It’s really amazing how our rational, intelligent, and logical minds can twist reality to achieve their primitive, addicted ends.  I live in a metropolitan area (Phoenix, AZ) that regularly has high pollution days throughout the year, with winter having the longest periods and most occurrences.  Most of the pollutants are some combination of ozone, carbon monoxide, and particulates (dust & diesel exhaust, mainly).  Normally I smoked about a pack a day, but would smoke 1 ½ to 2 packs a day on high pollution days, especially ozone days.  That never made sense, but I accepted it.  I could roughly tell the pollution level by how much I smoked. 

About 8 months after I’d quit, I hit on the answer.  It was the end of January and I’d been in a low-level need (I called it “the nag”) since just after Thanksgiving.  Not actually wanting to smoke for smoking’s sake, but just the constant thought of how nice a cigarette would be and how it would get rid of the nag.  One day it occurred to me that I might have an allergy to the air pollution.  There are records kept by my county on air quality.  I checked those records against my diary and, lo, there was a correlation between increases in the air pollution levels and the occurrences of the nag.

Here’s my theory of what happened.  I’m allergic (not medically proven) to some air pollutant(s) that irritate my respiratory system.  The effects of smoking would override and mask the pollution irritation while at the same time giving my reward/pleasure centers their undeserved “ahhh”.  My brain, therefore, learned that smoking “fixed” the bad feelings caused by pollution.  However, the masking effect would wear off much sooner than my blood nicotine level would drop to the level that would signal time for a smoke.  The feelings of pollution irritation would begin in 10 – 20 minutes, causing my brain to again seek smoke for relief.  Eventually, my response to this became as automatic as it did to the drop in blood nicotine level and I would “naturally” smoke more.

Once I figured that out, I began reprogramming my brain.  When I’d get the nagging feeling, I’d tell myself that what I was feeling was not a desire for a smoke, but a reaction to a pollution allergy.  I would speak out loud whenever possible.  It took a few months, but eventually the automatic desire for a smoke slowly changed into a general “ick” feeling on high pollution days.  I expect this “ick” feeling is what never-smokers who are sensitive to the pollution feel.

I’ll be quit 3 years come this May.  I still get occasional nags and still have to tell myself that it is a pollution allergy, not a desire for a cig (stupid brain!, lol).  And I still get an occasional desire for the “blanket of comfort” nicotine addiction provided, but that is only when I’m violating HALT (Hungry, Annoyed, Lonely, and/or Tired) and it doesn’t last.  I use it as a signal telling me that something is off in my four natures (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual) so I can determine what needs what and make the corrections to bring myself back into balance.

Bless your hearts, all you awesome quitters.

Shevie