An update.
Well, the X is improving day by day... was able to hold conversation with our son yesterday. He's having hallucinations that have been upsetting him... doctor said it's because there was so much ammonia built up in his blood it was almost toxic. But the doctor also said that over time, this will pass. Mason and I wonder for how long it's been happening (I suspect before the divorce), how long it will linger and if we'd be able to tell when he's better... he'd been like that for a VERY long time...Just before we got word of this, my ANGER set in hard. I was ANGRY that he did to himself... ANGRY that he doesn't care about those who care for him, ANGRY because I KNOW how much the alcohol has a grip on him. So ANGRY in fact, that I decided I better not go down to the hospital anymore.
And then I started feeling guilty again... guilty that I didn't try harder to try to get him help before the divorce since it was obvious that this was happening then, and feeling guilty because when they said he was improving my first thought was "oh goody, soon as he's discharged, we get to go through all this again" GAAA! I think I need a bike ride. LATER.
And then I started feeling guilty again... guilty that I didn't try harder to try to get him help before the divorce since it was obvious that this was happening then, and feeling guilty because when they said he was improving my first thought was "oh goody, soon as he's discharged, we get to go through all this again" GAAA! I think I need a bike ride. LATER.
Replies
You can\'t save him hon. You just can\'t. And you never could. The past is just that. Say the serenity prayer today (google it, I don\'t know it by heart myself so can\'t quote!) but think it will help with your frustration level. Then move on with your day with a lighter heart knowing that you are living the best life you can! hugs of support
iammine is so right. You can\'t save him from his own actions. Perhaps this will be enough to get him right and well. Maybe he will give up the alcohol but that\'s his decision he has to make.
You are right to back away and not go to the hospital again. Don\'t feel guilty for this man\'s actions. He knows what he was doing; he just didn\'t care and couldn\'t or wouldn\'t stop the drinking.
I also understand the compassion you have for him. You were married to this man for a long time. You can\'t help but think what ifs. I think you will be taking a lot of bike rides. They are your form of therapy.
iammine is so right. You can\'t save him from his own actions. Perhaps this will be enough to get him right and well. Maybe he will give up the alcohol but that\'s his decision he has to make.
You are right to back away and not go to the hospital again. Don\'t feel guilty for this man\'s actions. He knows what he was doing; he just didn\'t care and couldn\'t or wouldn\'t stop the drinking.
I also understand the compassion you have for him. You were married to this man for a long time. You can\'t help but think what ifs. I think you will be taking a lot of bike rides. They are your form of therapy.