RATS.
I screwed up a bit yesterday. My son called right when I was about to call him. Easter Bunny was doing photos. OMG, my granddaughter (9 months old now) has changed SO MUCH. LONG legs, BRILLIANT smile. I couldn't help but get her a pink and yellow bunny, lol.
So as we were waiting for the photo to come off the machine, my son and I were just talking about his job. He's working at Salvation Army because jobs out here are VERY few, and for limited options, he does like it. And I made the suggestion of taking broken furniture donations - stuff that would normally be thrown out - and fixing it into different things to resell for extra money (I like to do this kind of thing). He said he's considered that, but didn't have the tools for it - especially a table saw. AND THEN I opened my big mouth, made a sarcastic comment about how I had a saw, a brand new saw, but someone said he "broke it" and threw it out... (I think he pawned it for more alcohol money)
And did I stop there? Heck no. I also made a comment about his father going into counseling for the assault. All kinds of negative thoughts were running through my head at that time and I just couldn't help myself. And BAM, it was obvious this was going to be a BAD subject (DUH!)... my son mentioned that his Dad has entered into a rehab program again at my son's suggestion. And I stopped opening my mouth (uncomfortable silence ensued) because NASTY things were running through my mind... like how he's probably in rehab because of the latest DUI that my son doesn't know about... and how when I saw the X as I was driving to the bank the other day, the rehab obviously isn't working....
Man, I can be such a bitch some times.
So we ended up changing the subject when the photo machine jammed and I treated him to lunch at a nearby restaurant. Overall, it was a nice visit, but I've been kicking myself since. DARN IT.
Well, I promised my daughter-in-law a lunch date - NEXT time, I'll find good subjects to focus on.
LATER!
So as we were waiting for the photo to come off the machine, my son and I were just talking about his job. He's working at Salvation Army because jobs out here are VERY few, and for limited options, he does like it. And I made the suggestion of taking broken furniture donations - stuff that would normally be thrown out - and fixing it into different things to resell for extra money (I like to do this kind of thing). He said he's considered that, but didn't have the tools for it - especially a table saw. AND THEN I opened my big mouth, made a sarcastic comment about how I had a saw, a brand new saw, but someone said he "broke it" and threw it out... (I think he pawned it for more alcohol money)
And did I stop there? Heck no. I also made a comment about his father going into counseling for the assault. All kinds of negative thoughts were running through my head at that time and I just couldn't help myself. And BAM, it was obvious this was going to be a BAD subject (DUH!)... my son mentioned that his Dad has entered into a rehab program again at my son's suggestion. And I stopped opening my mouth (uncomfortable silence ensued) because NASTY things were running through my mind... like how he's probably in rehab because of the latest DUI that my son doesn't know about... and how when I saw the X as I was driving to the bank the other day, the rehab obviously isn't working....
Man, I can be such a bitch some times.
So we ended up changing the subject when the photo machine jammed and I treated him to lunch at a nearby restaurant. Overall, it was a nice visit, but I've been kicking myself since. DARN IT.
Well, I promised my daughter-in-law a lunch date - NEXT time, I'll find good subjects to focus on.
LATER!
Replies
We aren\'t all perfect and sometimes that foot just has to go in that mouth. So you blabbed more than you feel you should have.
You have probably kicked yourself enough about this and just promise yourself to do better next time. Thinking about what to say next time might be the thing to do.
Yep. I agree with Trish. We can\'t be perfect and at least you changed the subject and went on to happier subjects!
It\'s ok. Your son must know how hard this all is on you. He just sent you the message he doesn\'t want to hear that. You will hear that message I know. This is human. I read that you should NEVER say anything bad about your partner after divorce in books but sometimes I have made a bitter comment and then felt really guilty, especially as the kids have reacted with awkwardness as your son did. I have tried hard for my kids but I still slip up sometimes.
I actually think that overall you handled that really well. The \'ole drunk is bound to come up from time to time. Their manipulations are bound to continue got to protect their life of drinking, you know?!
I know you know. I know you were married a long time I am certain the resentments and healing will take a while. You are doing great.