Thank you guys for the hugs and the messages i have gotten lately. it is good to know that i am not alone. i haven't been staying sober all the time, but i haven't mixed pills & drink any more since last time. i am going to put a magnent on the fridge we keep our beer in that says " I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me"maybe that will help.. a gentle reminder.i don't drink to forget.. or because i am in pain. i have given all my resentments over past abuse (well, most of them) to God my father. so there is nothing to "drink away"I believe I went thru what i went thru so i could help others.i drink to relax. to sit on the patio after a day at work and drink some beers.part of me thinks "there is nothing wrong with that.. you are too hard on yourself.. you are not hurting anyone"but the guilt i feel when i get drunk is so heavy i beleive it is the Holy Spirit convicting me. Like what if someone was to need me at that instant?? what if God needed me to help one of His children? I am USELESS!!! to myself and others when i get drunk and i know that.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Yes, you are being VERY hard on yourself! I go through the EXACT same thing though and it\'s a pain in the arse. You are definately not alone, becuase I\'m right there with you and feeling the same guilt. If you find anything that works let me in on it please! I\'m getting better but it is a very slow process and there are alot of slip ups along the way and I\'m trying to not beat myself up everytime. I just focus on the fact that I use to be ALOT worse and I am getting better everyday. Just know you are not alone!
deleted_user
deleted_user

If I may, I have read your entreys and I see your friendship with my friend Ohmyohmy, she is really cool adn sweet. I hear your struggeling in your words and I would like to say I am heree is you evere wouldlike to talk. I have struggeled with Alsoholism for a long time adn have many things to share, I hope that you realize we aree all in this together and drew from eachother. Hope you are having a great day.
Vic