ok so im tons better now and starting to fight again thanks everyone for loving me even tho im crap! I went to the dr and there is nothing they can do. im not even close enough to be sent to inpaitient and without that i cant have any counselling or medical help. the best he can offer is so dieticien help but they just weigh you and send you on your way they dont do a lot about the psychological issues. so ive decided its just me on my own (and you guys!!!)  Ive got a new job, still slightly in shock as i am unqualified for the job in every way possible. anyway i shall be working in a boys school with boys that have server ADHD, Autisum and other issues like that. i use to wirk with a lad that had adhd mildly and he nearly drove me up the wall! anyway looking forward to strating but also very scared! i think its given me the hope and fight that i need to stay alive and keep fighting! Ive got a cold this week so feelin lathargic but i guess you know that its gona pass soon so just got to sit it out! its my birthday on sunday. the youth group i help out at are going iceskating that day which is really cool coz i love it! Oh yeah and im off the diet pills. my computer has been broke for the last 2 weeks so untill i get a new 1 i wont be on very much.