If someone tells you they care or want to help dont believe them they are lying!!! Truth is no one cares jack about you and that includes the so called professionals. Besides professionals are paid huge amounts of money to say they care if they dont they get sued and then struck off so at the end of the day its all about the money. Friends well ok they dont get paid to say they care but they still dont really care i mean do they really listen for more than a couple of seconds? they just say that they care out of politeness, coz they feel they have to out of duty or coz theyy want a nice bit of juicy gossip - nothing makes news like bad news!!! People love it when you fail, it gives them a sense of security, it keeps them earning money, gives them something to talk about. If people really cared the world wouldnt be such a tough place. Life wouldnt slap you round the face every morning people would let me fit in my jeans and still be happy with me, but no people are only happy happy when they are doing better than you are. Ive had enough, im just exhausted of all this. If i live and behave the way people say i should by eating getting fat and not self harming then im the failure im the one that will suffer. People say if i dont eat or eat like they say i should then im slowly killing myself but if i do what they say im dying anyway of obesity i cant win. i just want to disapear! Just remember everyone lets you down eventually!  Im going back to the drawing board back to making myself happy and no one else back to laxatives, loosing weight. If no one else cares why should i?