i cant cope anymore. i dont want to die but i want out of all this. Im fed up of being obese, not being listen to, not being taken seriously. My life is a joke, just a mocking for peoples entertainment. Im in trouble again at work only this time its not a rant over the phone its a meeting! youth club on friday was a night mare and i just stood behind the bar thinking what on earth am i doing here?! i could just see everything flashing in front of me and not having a clue. now that im in trouble with the other job im gona have to talk about i dont no what. they just dont get it they think i sit at home all day. just because i dont work full time for them they forget that i do have 2 other jobs that im trying hard to hold down. I want to call in sick this week because i have no energy for them at the moment. I just want to scrape my arms so bad. Ive binged for the last 4 days so now im going to make up for it. first few days are gona be tough but i need to do this otherwise i will eat myself to death. I just want it to go away i just want things back to how they use to be. I hurt so why do i want to hurt myself more?