Last week I was so busy that I hardly had the computer on and when I did my sister took it off me to go on msn!!! Im glad my sister has gone now tho I was starting to feel a bit trapped and wanted some space. The weekend was the hardest. I was helping lead a residential there were 23 people all together. 19 between the age of 11-16 and 4 adults including me. I did all the cooking by myself. It was hard work but I was very pleased that I accomplished it and people came back for seconds and said that the food was good. I also organised a late (ish) evening walk on the Friday and took them to the park to play rounders on the Saturday afternoon. I did all the inside team games and entertainment. Then someone else did a few bits in between teaching the young people. I didn’t sleep all weekend so im very tired now and probably should be doing some work but it can wait till later. But that wasn’t really what was hard about the weekend, I really enjoyed doing that and it made me feel needed and wanted. What was hard was that as the weekend went on my little sister got more and more cocky and cheeky. Showing off to the other teenagers and making me feel really small. She went on and on all week about why I do what I do and how I react to things, niggling at me about everything, ‘you go to bed too late – you get up too early – you don’t eat enough – you drink too much – you drink the wrong milk – you shouldn’t do that now – why don’t you do it like this?! Grrrrrrr shes 16 who does she think she is?! I don’t live at home I haven’t for 3 years I live my own way and a way that works for me, I don’t have to live like you do and I don’t have to follow the same patterns as I did at home im my own person trying to work out a lifestyle for myself STOP interfering. It got worse at the weekend because she carried on nagging me but in front of others so they would hear and look at me and although I wasn’t doing anything wrong it felt like it. Work sucked last week. Well some of it was good but because it was a split project working in 2 different areas I had 2 line managers for the project and a boss all of which were telling me different things and expecting different things from me and even when I did manage to coordinate the whole thing and do everything they asked they still complained that it was wrong and didn’t say thank you or that I had done a good job. Anyway since they have there new worker im not really needed anymore only for the jobs that are below her and she doesn’t want! I don’t quite understand what is so great about her im far more qualified than she is and im not allowed to do anything on my own and given no responsibility and she is suppose to be line managing and supporting me! How does that work out?! She was really starting to annoy me last week because she was starting to take over and telling me how to do my job that ive been doing longer than she has been around and its my project and my baby and she has no right telling me how I should run it. Anyway mother phoned this morning apparently my sister told her that I hadn’t eaten all week! What a liar!!! She loves stirring trouble argh I could just swipe for her sometimes I don’t know why she does it. She went home starving and my mum couldn’t understand why when I told her what she had eaten already that day she just doesn’t know truth! Ive not cut since my sister has been staying with me (11days) but I kinda want to. I no I should concentrate on going for longer but I want to. I wanted to really bad last week but couldn’t because she was always behind me and I knew I wouldn’t get away with it and that she would tell mum if she found out but now she isn’t here. I don’t know what ill do ill stick it out till bed time and then see how I feel about it. My stomach hurts at the moment I think its just coz im tired tho (hopefully). Got to go to work in a bit so tat will take my mind off it. We are making toffee apples this evening and chocolate coated ones with the 5yr olds coz they cant make toffee way too dangerous! Should be a laugh.