I went to the doctors again yesterday and she gave me some tablets which im really not sure about coz she said one of the side effects is that you want to self harm and so why would you give them to someone who is trying to stop? Plus i dont know if im ill or if its the tablet buts im sooo cold today and very sleepy just staying awake is a huge effort and i have no engery just lifting my coffee cup this morning was painfully heavy. And thats another thing i cried coz i had to have coffee coz we have run out of tea! how dumb is that? I drink coffee all the time so its not like i dont like it or anything. I have so much work i have to do today but i just want to climb under my covers and sleep.Yesterday i told my line manager about my SI and she was amazing about it. She said she knew that something wasnt right but because i didnt want to talk about it and it wasnt affecting my work she let it drop. She didnt ask loads of dumb questions like evryone esle has and she actuallly made me feel confident about it.  she said she would try and help me and that she was going to do some research so she could understand better and try and find some sort of support place i could get help that is kind of like counselling but kind of not coz she said counselling has got a bit of a sigma to it these days nad she recons that its not always the best way. Like it works for some but not others. Well i dont no and i dont want her to go out of her way coz i no she is really busy but im just glad she was so ok about it and she didnt tell me i had to stop or anything.