19 week check up

  I went today for my level 2 ultrasound. It was a great check up. Everything looks really good. The high risk doctor said that there was nothing on the pictures that he could see that sent up any red flags.  I asked him about checking the cord if it was possible and he said yes but its hard to see any abnomalities. He said to check with my dr. and he said to ask her what she has planned for later in the pregnancy. He said that If I wanted to have a ultrasound every month that I should tell my dr and they could work it out. So Everything is looking up at least for now. Sounds like all the prayers that everyone is saying seems to be working.    I feel like I want to be happy but I just dont want to get happy then something happens to this baby too.   I just dont know how far to go.  Do you go get your baby stuff out of storage? Do you pick out something to decorate the babys room. do you start buying clothes.   These things all scare me beyond belief. I want so much for everything to be ok. I want this baby to get to the end alive how do you turn your thoughts positive after so much tragedy?   Oh we are having another little boy this also scares me. Im so glad we are having a boy but in the same breath we have only had a girl survive.    I miss Wyatt so much every day I think about him.  I know he had a part in bring us another little boy.   I hope he has a part in getting him here.       I love and miss you Wyatt.  Love mommy