tired

well i am back and still here. lately i have been feeling so, so tired. very depressed for some unknown reason. it seems that i am caring so much onto my body. i tried to sleep drunk every night but it does not work. i drink and sleep empty stomach and around 2 and 3 get up and then cant sleep at all. I am started to feel so lonely as i feel that i am lost all in my life and started to loose myself. I just cant any sleep at all. All my friends at work are trying to cheer me up but i dont know what is wrong with me. i dont want to go out and do anything any more. I dont nderstnd why this has started to happening to me now. I wish i can take that brain out and stamp on it until it desapeared. I love reading books and listening to nice and music but i ant even open a book at all. life is being so horrible to me. I am thinking of taking hard drugs on but i dont want to go back to that life any more. it took my life to get out of that stuff. i like to live a normal life easy and relax. I have started to turn into my dick head, but i dont want to be like that. i hate him, hate him, i cant get over him. i wish my life is normal, some time i feel like ending it, but then i think that is not the i should think. my life is so empty and lonely. i cant believe that i am accutally a lonely person on this planet, while having all these friends arround.that is al for now, will be back later