Battling severe depression is like climbing a steep, icy slope on a mountain that seemingly has no pinnacle...a miscalculated step up the incline sends me spiraling back to my point of origin - like an intense video game where lives have been depleted and the original mission must then re-start...
A higher ascension up this slope only accelerates anxiety to a deafening level - progress is then frozen at this altitude; one slippage and it's back to the starting point, AGAIN...! 
Resolve has been depleted - in revolt even; stuck on this plane debating where to jump off into the abyss...