Struggling..
I'm struggling to find inner peace; I'm trying to be more intune to my spirituality..I think it will be the key to finding peace & may be my only option if I'm going to survive this tumultuous period in my life. Things are certainly not going to get any easier; I'm anxious about my future & very frustrated about my past so living in the present is hell. I can't seem to grasp what to do; I can't go thru the rest of my 'natural' life strictly in survival mode..I'm aware there are those that do but I don't have the tolerance, patience, or strength to do the same; life is still miserable & I still pray for HIS grace to take me home but I know that is just not his will right now..
Not sure if it is HIS intent for me to 'suffer' thru this as punishment or if there is something to be gained by this experience - I wish I had answers. I struggle, mightily, to keep the devil at bay; everyday it seems I have to make the conscious decision to survive, to plow thru; to perservere; to not give in or up; to keep going; to see if the next day or moment will provide some glimmer of hope on the horizon - it is very tiring; trying my will; testing my faith when I only envision my fate..peace please be still, so I can find you..
Not sure if it is HIS intent for me to 'suffer' thru this as punishment or if there is something to be gained by this experience - I wish I had answers. I struggle, mightily, to keep the devil at bay; everyday it seems I have to make the conscious decision to survive, to plow thru; to perservere; to not give in or up; to keep going; to see if the next day or moment will provide some glimmer of hope on the horizon - it is very tiring; trying my will; testing my faith when I only envision my fate..peace please be still, so I can find you..
Replies
YOU SAID IT!!!! \"\"there is something to be gained from this experience!!!\" God does NOT punish us...He disciplines us with love and mercy to get our attention but does NOT punish us...we usually punish ourselves with self doubt and guilt....He is about forgiveness through His Son...
I do love you and God loves you....and this journal is extremely meaningful to me....I am so glad I read it. Here is something I received in the email today...a devotion I subscribe to....maybe it will lift your spirits, dear friend.
Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray.
Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of
praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call
the elders of the church to pray over him and
anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.
For; The prayer of a righteous man is powerful
and effective.
( James 5:13; 14 & 16 *NIV )
One of the most powerful things on this Earth is \"The Power
Of Prayer!\" For, The eyes of the Lord are on the
righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry;
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
( Psalms 34:15 & 17 )
So let us not forget to speak to God in prayer today, and
thank Him for all He has done for each of us! Let us also pray
for those who are suffering, or are going through trials and
tribulations in their lives! Let us pray for each other as well,
and ask God to fill us with His Love, Hope, and Faith!
Therefore, I kneel before the Father,
I pray that out of His glorious riches He may
strengthen you with power through His Spirit in
your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your
hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being
rooted and established in love, may have power,
together with all the saints, to grasp how wide
and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,
and to know this love that surpasses knowledge
that you may be filled to the measure of all the
fullness of God. ( Ephesians 3:14; 16; 18-19 )
Have a great day my friend, and remember that God smiles
every time He thinks about you! Amen.
Nothing you are experiencing is a \"punishment\" of any sort, but I DO KNOW how you feel because even I sometimes ask myself, \"Is this all a punishment for things I\'ve done?\" As said so well in the former post, God is our strength and refuge, our hope. Sometimes we need a little help from medicine, you may need it or may be already getting it; if so, talk to the Dr. since the medication doesn\'t seem to be doing its job. Don\'t give up. You\'re in this fight for a reason.
Jill
I also have thought I am being punished.
Huggs and take care. Love xoxo