Weekend
Hi Honey,
Well, it's Sunday night and I somehow survived the weekend. What an experience. Ethan & Beckett were here this weekend. Actually came Thursday and stayed with Julie Thursday night. Friday afternoon, we went to ChuckECheese for Ethan's birthday and they boys came home with me. It was the first time they've been here since you've been gone so I was a little apprehensive how it would go. 2 & 5 years old can be a handful alone, you were always here to pitch in and help out. Friday night, Emily called to see if I wanted her to come Saturday morning and spend the rest of the weekend to help out. Since she's always asking what she can do and what I need, I thought this would be a good time to take her up on her offer. I had these illusions of grandeur that Ethan, Beck, and Bella would have a great time playing together and it would be great having a little help. WRONG!!!!! Emily & Bella got here around 1:00 Saturday afternoon and fought CONSTANTLY until Emily left this morning. It was the most stressful time I've ever experienced with kids. I was so glad to have our little guys alone again and had a great time the rest of the afternoon.
We were on the porch alot and the visits from the hummingbird just reinforced my feelings that it's your way of communicating. It appeared several times while we were out there, many times just hovering outside of the window and looking in. Ethan even remarked he had never seen a hummingbird so close. He would stand by the window and the bird would come up to the window and just hover there in front of him like you were trying to take it all in. I know how much you loved those boys and how much they loved you and how much they miss you.
I went to meet Donna for a drink tonight, she's having a really hard time with Denny's death, which was also unexpected. I didn't know how much help I could be to her but knowing she has no kids here or really close friends, I felt I owed it to everyone who supported me those first few weeks after I lost you. We had a couple drinks, shed a few tears and remembered the fun we had.
I miss you so much but feel I'm moving in the right direction. There are still uncontrollable tears some nights but not as often as in the first few weeks. I still miss you like crazy but realize I can't change anything and I promised myself, our kids, and you that I would not end up like my mom.
Guess I'll get ready for bed now, it's been a long weekend and so hard without you here.
Love you and miss you so much
Well, it's Sunday night and I somehow survived the weekend. What an experience. Ethan & Beckett were here this weekend. Actually came Thursday and stayed with Julie Thursday night. Friday afternoon, we went to ChuckECheese for Ethan's birthday and they boys came home with me. It was the first time they've been here since you've been gone so I was a little apprehensive how it would go. 2 & 5 years old can be a handful alone, you were always here to pitch in and help out. Friday night, Emily called to see if I wanted her to come Saturday morning and spend the rest of the weekend to help out. Since she's always asking what she can do and what I need, I thought this would be a good time to take her up on her offer. I had these illusions of grandeur that Ethan, Beck, and Bella would have a great time playing together and it would be great having a little help. WRONG!!!!! Emily & Bella got here around 1:00 Saturday afternoon and fought CONSTANTLY until Emily left this morning. It was the most stressful time I've ever experienced with kids. I was so glad to have our little guys alone again and had a great time the rest of the afternoon.
We were on the porch alot and the visits from the hummingbird just reinforced my feelings that it's your way of communicating. It appeared several times while we were out there, many times just hovering outside of the window and looking in. Ethan even remarked he had never seen a hummingbird so close. He would stand by the window and the bird would come up to the window and just hover there in front of him like you were trying to take it all in. I know how much you loved those boys and how much they loved you and how much they miss you.
I went to meet Donna for a drink tonight, she's having a really hard time with Denny's death, which was also unexpected. I didn't know how much help I could be to her but knowing she has no kids here or really close friends, I felt I owed it to everyone who supported me those first few weeks after I lost you. We had a couple drinks, shed a few tears and remembered the fun we had.
I miss you so much but feel I'm moving in the right direction. There are still uncontrollable tears some nights but not as often as in the first few weeks. I still miss you like crazy but realize I can't change anything and I promised myself, our kids, and you that I would not end up like my mom.
Guess I'll get ready for bed now, it's been a long weekend and so hard without you here.
Love you and miss you so much
Replies