Missing you

Hi Sweetie,
I got back last night from visiting Tracy and Mike with Jill.  It was OK getting away for awhile but I couldn't wait to get home.  That's where my memories of you are.  While I was in Maryland, we went to Cracker Barrel for supper one night and the memories were overwhelming.  That was where we always stopped for breakfast on our way to Atlanta.  It brought back so many fun memories of our trips. 
I keep reading and hearing about other spouses feeling the presence of their spouses and having dreams about them but I've had neither.  Sometimes I get mad at you for this.  I know it's so irrational but that's my thinking lately.  I just miss you so much.  When I look at pictures of you from the last few months, I can see how bad you must have felt but you never complained.  You always had the most positive attitude.  I've been regretting alot of things about your last day.  I wish I hadn't gone home that morning and would have just stayed there with you.  Todd was worried about me and insisted I come home and get some rest.  You seemed to be doing OK so I came home.  I called him around noon and he said you guys were just hanging out and watching TV.  He told me not to come up until late afternoon and just get some rest and quit worrying.  I knew how you loved your one-on-one time with him so I didn't come up.  I  keep thinking that if I was there I could have helped you in some way but not sure how.  I'm so grateful though that our last words to each other were "I love you" and of course, you answered with your standard "I love you more".
I'll close for now.  I love and miss you so much.