Well, I'm not sure how I feel, but we finally told the kids we were officially separating and that dad is moving to another house. I guess they reacted as I thought they would, not a lot of questions and no big drama. Then we all went to see dad's new house. I left them there after a few minutes. They are having fun searching through the house. Everything is an adventure - glad we raised them like that! Anyway, no great feeling of relief yet. The kids hugged and supported me more than visa versa. Not sure what to expect in the days/months ahead. This entire thing just sucks. I am glad I found this forum to vent on, because I'm tired of ranting at my friends. Sorry if I'm using you for that - but I've truly enjoyed reading your comments and stories. Here's hoping life gets better.
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you know what they say Time marches on,once again i am sorry for the divorce aspect,but i am sure it will get easier,I certainly hope so at least, in the same boat as you minus the kids,try to have a good 4th of july(((HUGS))).
Divorce is a process for the children as well. I am one year post separation--there were a lot of ups and downs this past year for all of us.
However, my children\'s coping was linked to my coping and emotional health. I grieved like hell, fell apart, took a long hard look at myself and worked hard. As I came to terms and accepted the marriage, what happened, my own role and much more--they stabilised.
There are not shortcuts here. Don\'t put on a front for your children. There are important lessons here for them about hard times in life and teaching that with time things do get better and sometimes you just have to keep going even when you don\'t want to.
Just last night my 12 yr old asked why I am not like her other friends parents who are divorced who can\'t speak to each other. I told her how much I loved her and her siblings and myself--that I worked really hard in therapy, reading, journaling and much more to release resentments, bitterness and anger. I did this for them and for me. I also told her this is difficult enough on all of them and they don\'t need me being negative about their dad--they have a right to a relationship with him.
Has it been easy? Absolutely not--but I am in such a much better place.
However, for now, your head is spinning. You can\'t see tomorrow much less today. Take it one day at a time. You will be in a much better place next year.
(((((((HUGS)))))))
Thanks! My separation is a bit different in that it has been a long time coming and I am so ready for it and have been through so much counselling, that I\'m ok with \'me\'... now just to watch the kids adjust. We have hidden nearly all of the anger and frustration for so long, there really isn\'t fighting. So...hoping none of them turn against me. I will stay in counselling for a while, and that will help.