This is my first journal entry - I have been reading in Daily Strength for a couple of days. So much variety of good and bad! My STBX and I are separating next week. We've actually been separated within our home for the last 2 years. He bought a house and is leaving. We both know its best for us. My concern is reactions from our kids. They 'kinda' know we're separated, but haven't been told yet that Dad's moving out. So, just hoping this transition goes well and our kids will communicate with us. We were a poor example of communication for the last 25 years but have tried to be open with the kids. Encouragement Appreciated!!!
Replies
How old are the kids?
Mine are now 23, 12, 10 and 3! I learned that my marriage was completely and utterly dysfunctional and that the kids were not spared our dysfunction as much as I had believed.
However, as I healed and moved into a better place, they all responded quickly--all things considered. It was quite chaotic for a few months as we all mourned and processed a lot of anger.
As I have dealt with my stbx alcoholism and my own co-dependency, I have learned when one person changes, the entire family unit benefits. It took a lot of hard work on my side. The children and I are so much healthier now.
It will, in the end, be ok. It will be a bit rocky between now and then.
My kids are 21, 18 and 13. I know the older ones should be least affected because they are both leaving the state for college in 2 months, but I still worry. The 13 yr old is very close to both of us and communicates well, so hopefully she\'ll be the best one. Our first-born son died when he was 8 (he would be 24 now) so I\'ve really put all of the kids\' needs before mine for a long time. Hopefully they will like me better when I\'m happy!
My older sons, both reacted completely opposite of each other, neither really chose sides, but one felt his mother had gone off the deep end, his brother just seemed to close up, very little input at all. The youngest was 13, he probably handles the news best of all, but in turn I think it may have affected him adversely much more than the older two.